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The person we always talked about

You know, it took me a year to find the person you always talked about. The person you wanted, the person you wanted to be brought back and the person we fought the most about.

I always raged over it. Why couldn't I be enough. Why couldn't you stay with me and spend the rest of your life with me when you always talked about it and said that you wanted to. Why couldn't we actually do the things we wanted to do. Why couldn't we be the people we actually said we could be. I guess, the heart doesn't care what the mouth says. The heart doesn't care about logic or promises or technicalities. The heart just hearts. It does what it is best at, messing up beautiful relations and feeling for people who don't matter or care. It's funny and ironic yet beautiful when you stop judging it and actually think about it.

Anyway, back to the person we always used to fight so much about. I am sorry for not understanding you earlier. I regret being always so non-understanding and moronic about it but I guess that was just the person I was.  The person you wanted to find. Your taste was always exquisite. Your taste in art was even better and human beings are nothing but art after all. I must say, I must admit, I must come through and say that, he was worth it. He is worth it. He will always be worth it. I guess I only cared about how I jealous I used to get of somebody just so good. I guess I was insecure and I didn't want you to go, ever. But the Universe always has a way of figuring a couple of things out.

No matter how you treated me, or how you loved me, or how you had to go away for the sake of my betterment. No matter how you stopped. No matter how you went on. No matter what happened, I will always be thankful to you. You are the most special I've ever had the luxury of getting a taste of. I have to thank you for what you did, because if not for you, I would never be the person we talked about always. If not for you, I would have never become the person we always fought about. If not for you, I would have never become the person I kept on finding for a year. As it turns out, the Universe always finds a way.

If not for you, this life would not have been.

- H

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