This is a quest.

He wakes up totally oblivious to his surroundings. It's absolute silence. Dead stillness. It was a rather beautiful dream, he thinks, because the reality? Not so beautiful. Wishing he'd rather stay in his dreams and his fantastical worlds, he rues waking up, like he has for the rest of his life except when it used to be for her. A book lies half open on his chest named "The Sun is also a Star". It's filled with freakish coincidences, excellent coincidental timing and hopeless romance, everything he is and loves about them(him and her). The main character is amazingly positive, just like our guy right here so the book is going nicely. He takes the book from his chest and places it on the bed besides him. It smells of fresh rain and her presence but she's not here. She has not been here in a while. He remembers how time stood still when he stared at her while she slept peacefully in that bed and his arms. Missing her is inescapable and loving her is inevitabl...

I taste ecstasy everytime your laughter and your breathtaking giggles in between words fill my ears and my body. The past few days I have devoted myself to finding myself but all I have seen at every corner, every turn, every place, awake and dreaming is you, your beautiful smile and those tender hands carrying excessive burden.  You get out of the circle of limits you've created for ourselves once in a while, and that time is my festival, my heaven, my 14th of august, my fourth of july, my new year, my forever and beyond. Everytime I pass through a mirror, may it be in the middle of the night amidst nothing, or in the middle of the day amidst all the rush and everything else in a shopping mall, I see fractions of you lingering through me somewhere. I never thought I'd use the word 'soulmate' for a person, but now I use it because it really does mean something. I am not alone, ever, and maybe that is the reason I enjoy solitude so much. You know the kind of songs that...

I'm destruction. I dive deeper into the abyss for reasons not understandable to human minds. I am chaos. She's the order within me. As she paces closer to me, as her breathing turns into a melody for my ears, I warn her, I'm not the person she thinks I am. There's no coming back from this. I'll absorb her. I'll trap her heart and enclose it in my own and it's not an easy place to escape from. I'll hold her in my arms and she wouldn't want to bulge from there. It'd be addictive, I warn her. She's a player of her own and goes along just like every catastrophic love story of the world has ever went on on the basis of raw craziness and pure insanity. I guess that's who we are. 

Call me at 4 in the morning and I'll listen to those ecstatic giggles and possibly drown. Yeah, I'll definitely drown in a giant pot of honey, milk and vanilla, and possibly chocolate since it's your favorite. Your flaws always invited me in, even when my instincts didn't. I knew you'd the best and worst type of addiction the moment I stepped in, but I couldn't pull myself away not because it was so hard, it was probably the hardest but because I didn't want to. Somebody like you only comes once a millennium and the second I stared your smile for just a little bit too long, I knew this is my chance, this is my escape, my addiction and my way out. This is my muse, the walls of my heart sang and when I heard similar melodies from your heart, it was like the fourth of July, like Christmas, like Eid inside me. Everybody was happy, and I still remember how you smiled then and how you smile now. You grew gorgeous every passing seconds and I don't know what wo...

We all have our moments, the moments when we crack down, broke open and tear ourselves apart. When the demons, monsters and villains inside flow out and wreck everything. It's not a pretty sight. It's disastrous. I might possibly be the calmest person I've ever known, been through depression, despair and helplessness so smoothly, but sometimes it gets hard. It gets hard to hold off everything I've been holding inside me, tolerating the same torture I go through everday with the best smile on my face and everybody thinking I am the happiest person alive. Maybe I am, a lot of times. I have been called lucky not that I deny it or anything. I am lucky, most of the times anyway. It gets really backbreaking and cruel to carry the burden of that beautiful smile. I have had my fair share of distractions and embarrassingly enough, I have to admit that I have not that upto productive use. Anyway, I am just getting carried away which is one of the principal reasons I stopped...

Before you read this meeting, I want you all to know that this whole meeting and scene is imaginary and I poured out every bit of my imagination into this. Thank you. It was all planned. It was scripted as far as I know. He drove out of his garage at 8 sharp as they had planned and God had planned the rest for them. He knew the drive would be the test of his patience and tolerance. There were knots tying in his stomach and butterflies running all over his body. He was anxious to meet her. It had been too damn long. He craved and she imagined it every second. And then this beautiful summer day came. It was hot but whoever cared about it. His hands were still shivering on the steering wheel. The guy who never sacrificed sleep for any person in the world was now wide awake with his heart beating crazy fast in the morning. These moments were rare. This adrenaline was even rarer. His idiosyncrasy and her enchantment was the most imperfect yet perfect match ever. It was amazing how he had ...

All the while I was angry and ablaze, Allah didn't help me. Nothing seemed to go my way because I was bad like that. I wasn't doing myself justice. I wasn't thinking straight. I kept yearning for help. I kept asking Him for help, but nothing came. I kept complaining why was this happening to me but no answer came. Not a single moment of relief. The bridges kept on burning, the storms kept raiding my houses and everything started fading away. As the misery grew, I gradually ceased caring and started wondering. I was seeking for relief while my own gates were closed. So there I started, opening them one by one so they can be of full use. I left the impatience out in the ocean and let it go. And almost miraculously, the storm passed. Everything was as calm as the ocean, including me. That was my moment, my moment of solace and relief and rescue and what not. Almost on cue the message from God came, "Everything is fine." I just smiled and said my prayers. Only God kno...