Skip to main content

Moments.

We all have our moments, the moments when we crack down, broke open and tear ourselves apart. When the demons, monsters and villains inside flow out and wreck everything. It's not a pretty sight. It's disastrous. I might possibly be the calmest person I've ever known, been through depression, despair and helplessness so smoothly, but sometimes it gets hard. It gets hard to hold off everything I've been holding inside me, tolerating the same torture I go through everday with the best smile on my face and everybody thinking I am the happiest person alive. Maybe I am, a lot of times. I have been called lucky not that I deny it or anything. I am lucky, most of the times anyway. It gets really backbreaking and cruel to carry the burden of that beautiful smile.

I have had my fair share of distractions and embarrassingly enough, I have to admit that I have not that upto productive use. Anyway, I am just getting carried away which is one of the principal reasons I stopped writing before. I have these moments where I breakdowns. These breakdowns are terribly exhausting, keep me away from sleep and you are the only cure. The distance is sucking the life out of me for nobody else is here to save me from myself.

This night holds a lot of exclusive elements. The Ghazals never end. The pain doesn't either. I told myself I would not write about my hurt and pain again, that I would only write about happy things because nobody else does. I wanted to write about happiness, and happy things but I guess writing is all about feeling and happiness passes in the blink of an eye. Everything has changed. I used to be the most safest person I knew, but now I find myself in the middle of the most uncertain abyss I have ever seen. I will get out, that's the only part I am certain about.

Endings are my least favourite part. Why? Simply because I don't know how to end things. Not my strong suit. So adios.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bottles, empty bottles

Our lives are like an empty bottle. Have you ever seen the motion of an empty bottle after you slightly interrupt it's motion at rest? It keeps tilting to right and left after you disturb it marginally. It keeps doing that for some minutes before it gets back to rest and stability. That's our life. Somebody comes in, out of the blue we never expected, we never heard of and disturbs our rest. Somebody comes and owns us. Most of them somebodies don't stay. They leave and then they interrupt the motion, life is startled and starts tilting here and there. There's no stability. It takes a lot of time to get it back to rest and happiness. It is like the basic rule of life. That person changes you forever, changes the way you think, the way you progress and the way you act. The way you make decisions. It all depends on that person. 
7 comments
Read more

Incomplete..... Just as my life.

I always wonder about why people say that the time after 1 am is the hardest one. And I wonder why people always make confessions during that time. And I always wonder about why people get sad and nostalgic during these hours. I always think about why would you think about a person at these hours when you are totally free, why not when you are totally busy and amidst this busyness of this world? It would just simply imply that whatever you had with whomever the person, it was during leisure and alone time. That would just imply that whatever you had, love, lust, friendship, relationship or I don't want to put a label on it, was weak. The bond you had was weak. Missing somebody at leisure hours is something anybody can do, like literally anybody. Remembering somebody, wanting somebody, desiring something in your leisure time, what's the bravery in that? What's the speciality in that? Why would it make that person happy or at all? There is nothing so outstanding in it. Why w...
4 comments
Read more

Singing myself to sleep.

Call me at 4 in the morning and I'll listen to those ecstatic giggles and possibly drown. Yeah, I'll definitely drown in a giant pot of honey, milk and vanilla, and possibly chocolate since it's your favorite. Your flaws always invited me in, even when my instincts didn't. I knew you'd the best and worst type of addiction the moment I stepped in, but I couldn't pull myself away not because it was so hard, it was probably the hardest but because I didn't want to. Somebody like you only comes once a millennium and the second I stared your smile for just a little bit too long, I knew this is my chance, this is my escape, my addiction and my way out. This is my muse, the walls of my heart sang and when I heard similar melodies from your heart, it was like the fourth of July, like Christmas, like Eid inside me. Everybody was happy, and I still remember how you smiled then and how you smile now. You grew gorgeous every passing seconds and I don't know what wo...
4 comments
Read more